DEAR SOMEONE ELSE’S MOM: My son is a nurse practitioner at one of our city’s bigger hospitals. It was at work where he met his fiancée, Layla. She is one of the maintenance department’s supervisors.
Although she isn’t as formally educated as our son, she is intelligent, poised, and extremely well-spoken. She is perfect for him and I personally couldn’t be happier for him and my future daughter-in-law.
My sister, however, has made it painfully clear she believes her nephew is marrying beneath him. She makes open comments to him when he is visiting alone, and mean little digs directed at Layla when she joins him for a visit, which although she has not mentioned to me, I know she both hears and feels.
I have spoken repeatedly to my snobby sister about her attitude and how wrong it is on so very many levels.
I am hosting the bridal shower at my house, but I am leaving the final approval of the guestlist up to Layla. I have seriously considered advising her to exclude my sister. I fear if she attends, she will ruin the day.
Would such a suggestion be wrong, especially if it is meant to keep the peace? --- SISTER OF A SNOB
DEAR SISTER OF A SNOB: I can see where intentionally excluding a close relative could cause more trouble than having to put up with an unpleasant personality for a few hours. In your sister’s biased view, it’d likely come off as just one more strike against Layla.
You believe your future daughter-in-law’s not unaware of your sister’s animosity towards her, and that she’s got a good head on her shoulders. You’re also giving her final say on the guestlist. If she decides to keep your sister on it, then hopefully the rest of the attendees will provide a buffer between Layla and her unpleasant future aunt, should she choose to attend.