DEAR HARRIETTE: I had a huge falling out with one of my best friends. We hadn’t spoken for about three months until the other day, when we got together to talk. We shed a lot of tears and spoke our minds about what happened between us, but we didn’t find resolution. I walked away feeling like I was being blamed for something that I don’t think was my fault. I already forgave my friend for being what I thought was mean and callous to me during a tender time, but I’m not quite sure what to do next. I want us to be close again, but I struggle with how to get past the way she talked to me so judgmentally when I was having a hard time. What do you recommend? -- Hurt
DEAR HURT: It sounds like you value your friendship more than holding a grudge. If that’s the case, you need to search your soul for the deepest level of forgiveness you can find. You need to be able to forgive your friend for the things that hurt you. That means accepting her, flaws and all. It also means that you need to protect yourself. When you are feeling vulnerable or tender, don’t go to her for solace. Perhaps she doesn’t have the capacity to offer that. Find another shoulder to cry on, or you may find yourself licking your wounds again. Rebuilding this friendship may take time.